dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
