i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize