ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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