Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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