i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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