You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
