found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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