I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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