Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Randomize
