Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
