so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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