At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
