i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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