I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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