I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize