my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
