Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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