i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
