god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i've created a new STD.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
