Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
