He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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