we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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