Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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