I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
