My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
