i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
