bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
