Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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