Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
