This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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