people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
