i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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