dude i'm inner monologue high
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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