she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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