Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Still dying that you shit outside
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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