This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
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We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
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Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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