they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
