Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I need to sanitize my soul.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
