tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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