youre lurking in front of me
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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