Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
