Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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