She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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