i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
