just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
