She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
