I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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