u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
