I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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