we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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