I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
