i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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