He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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