i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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