I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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