Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We talked him into tasing himself.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
