Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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