We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My brain says no but my pants say off.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
