I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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