T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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