I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
