he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
