We won't sleep together?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
